Where does time go?

I can’t even remember the last time I posted.  I’ve come to realize that if I want to start seriously blogging, I cannot go on a blogging binge for a week, and then stop.  This is serious business!  Anyway, in the months that I have been absent, MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.  I lost two of my beloved cat companions and my heart is still broken, I have graduated college, and I received news that changed my life forever.

In late February, my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  I still can’t believe I’m typing that.  My grandparents passed away from cancer when I was a kid, but to have this news come about your mother is truly, truly different and devastating.  I’m still trying to figure out my place in her life right now, because I am not quite sure that I know how to fully help her.  How does anybody assist someone who is fighting a life-threatening illness?  Pancreatic cancer is one of the rarest forms of cancer, and because of this, the funding that goes towards finding a cure is very limited, 1% to be exact.  When I found this out I was absolutely infuriated.  Nobody should hear the words “You have pancreatic cancer” and immediately think they are going to die.

My mom is such a soldier.  She’s taken this on so well, and I cannot express how proud I am of her.  I cannot even begin to imagine how scared she is every single day, but I know that the fear is there.  It would be ridiculous not to be terrified going through something like this.

Does anybody have any experience dealing with this?  What role did you play in caring for your loved one?


5 thoughts on “Where does time go?

  1. mandyhashope says:

    I stumbled across your blog, I’m still learning how to navigate around on here. I just started a blog for personal use, a way to vent my feelings. I just found out on May 6th that my mom has pancreatic cancer. She’s only 53, doesn’t drink or smoke…it’s surreal. Mom just had her second week of chemo yesterday, things have been pretty tough so far. We are all still in shock right now and still getting used to all the doctor appointments. Reality hasn’t sunk in yet. But like you, I’m angry. I’m scared. I’m 24 and don’t want to imagine a life without my mom. Our moms are definitely warriors and all we can really do is just be there for them right now. Be their strength. I’ll keep your mother in my prayers & you too. We have a long road ahead of us but hold on to your hope & faith.

    • Naissa says:

      Hi Mandy,

      I feel the same as you about WordPress. I barely even know how to make my theme exciting to look at. :/

      I am truly sorry to hear about your mother. My mom is the same age (52), and lived a relatively healthy life, too. I, like you, am also 24. It’s unbearable to even think of life without our mothers, especially at the young ages we are right now.

      What is the schedule of chemo that your mom is going through now? How often does she go to the doctor, etc?

      PLEASE keep me posted on how you and your mom are doing. It is very important to know that you are not alone. As scared as you are right now, you are not alone.

      Thank you so much for your comment. You and your incredibly strong mom are in my prayers.


      • mandyhashope says:

        I will definitely keep in touch, it helps to talk to someone going through the same thing. So you keep in touch too! 🙂

        Mom is currently on Gemzar and goes once a week for chemo for the next six months. They are hoping by December that the cancer will shrink small enough to perform a whipple. But that once a week she goes to chemo she also has 3 doctor appointments that same week too. One is the day after her chemo she goes for IV and fluids. Then two days later she goes to give blood THEN the day after that she goes to meet with her doctor to discuss the chemo for the next week. So it has been a lot to take in right now. She has good days and bad…she hasn’t had a day that she has been 100% good but it’s still pretty early, I’m hoping that will come with time.

        How is your mom doing? She was diagnosed in February, I read that…how was she in the beginning when she first found out compared to now? & what chemo is she on? Has it spread anywhere or is the cancer just in her pancreas?

        Looking forward to talking to you again soon, keep strong. We will all get through this! 🙂


      • Naissa says:

        Hey Mandy,

        How is your mom doing? My mom is also on Gemzar, and another chemo called Cisplatin (I have no idea if I spelled that correctly).

        How are your friends helping you deal with this? And also, how are you?

      • mandyhashope says:

        Mom was really in a funk/depressed mood in the beginning of this but slowly she is becoming stronger than ever!!! She hasn’t gotten sick from the chemo yet, she still has all her hair, the only thing is she gets tired very easily. But it’s amazing how much better her attitude is. She met a lady in chemo the other day who talked to her and really changed her entire perspective on this. I don’t know who this woman was but thank goodness for her!

        My friends have been great, my girl friends and I make time to spend together on the weekends I’m not with mom. I’m doing much better now that she’s doing better, I just hope she keeps staying strong. Her power to fight this is so powerful.

        I know your mom has been going through this a lot longer than mine, how is she doing now? & how are you hanging in there?

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